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Trauma Bonding

David Koresh, leader of the Branch Davidians © Sipa Press/Rex/Shutterstock

1. "Trauma Bonding" can be used in the context of grad school where you become friends with others of the shared hard experience.
2. The other more traditional interpersonal context develops out of a repeated cycle of abuse, devaluation, and positive reinforcement. It creates powerful feelings one struggles to make sense of, especially when abuse alternates with kindness and intimacy. Many abusive relationships begin with a shower of affection and assurances of love. When the abuse begins, it may take one by surprise. Afterward, the abuser might apologize, swear to change, or insist “I was just upset.” These attempts to manipulate often succeed, since one remembers the early days of the relationship and believe they can be that person again.

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