not the version told to school kids

restoration

no one would give him a reference

 

las vegas tunnel people

"greatest humorist"

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

– Mark Twain [1835-1910]

twist

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

– Mark Twain [1835-1910]

father of American literature

"We ought never to do wrong when people are looking."

- Mark Twain [1835-1910], "A Double-Barrelled Detective Story"

in foreclosure

 

Halley's Comet

 

“When in doubt, tell the truth.”

– Mark Twain [1835-1910]

last in his West Point class

"The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity."
- Ulysses S. Grant [1822-1885]

how to go bankrupt

“How did you go bankrupt?" "Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly.”
― Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

pipe

"Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any."

- Mark Twain

unk ungani

“I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey."
- Mark Twain

spectator and central figure

"By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity--another man's I mean."
- Mark Twain, Following the Equator

Money

"Without it you lost status, face, respect."
- Simon Schama on Rembrandt's bankruptcy 

"You think you know me."

Rembrandt, Self Portrait

The significance of the freehand perfect circle was in answer to critics who dismissed him for not having the skill of classical artists. 

always look on the bright side

"It'll all work out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end."
- Betsey Johnson

twelve feet for safety

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
- Mark Twain

Flaws

"An entirely virtuous person is not interesting."
- David McCullough

Gospel of Matthew

The poor you will always have with you