absurdity

woke joke

A cop pulls over a car with two priests in the back. The cop says they're looking for two child molesters. The priests say, "We'll do it!"

to act in all things necessary for the salvation of God's children

Image credit here.

"I became a Father - I joined the priesthood."

on Ireland

Q: Why is the population so big?

A: Because it's Dublin.

"As a talk show host you do different jokes in the same place; as a stand up comedian you do the same jokes in different places."
- Jay Leno

modus operandi

"All standups are innately insecure. Who would stand on a stage by themselves and say: 'Laugh!' 'Laugh with me!' 'Laugh at me!' 'I don't care: Just laugh!' They're all very damaged. They need that reassurance; it's all a cover."
- Melissa Rivers