“It's better to be feared than loved if you cannot be both.”
- Niccolò Machiavelli

manners manual

The essence of Lord Chesterfield's Letters was to make oneself pleasant and genial but to be forever wary of others. 

The Machiavellian counsel was:

Trust no one except those who have proved themselves, yet never let those who have failed the test know that when they look at you, they are looking at a mask, not at your true self. 

Life can be theatrical—an exercise in assessing other people's minds and motives and then designing your own response with an awareness of the gulf between appearance and reality.

Excerpts from Jon Meacham's American Lion: Andrew Jackson in the White House, p.40